I wish I’d say so

I want to apologize. I know you’d rather I didn’t, but I can’t keep keeping this to myself. So please, just this once, hear me out.

I’m not good at this yet. I do love you – tremendously, recklessly, endlessly – but I struggle when I try to say so. As wordy and poetic as I can sometimes be, love just isn’t sure how to pass my lips. And I could rattle off a reason – hell, he even has a name – but it sounds like an excuse that way. It sounds like I expect you to deliver that same kind of pain….and I don’t.

You’re not like him or any of them who were once standing in your place. You’re better. You’re kinder and stronger and more certain. You’re wiser and wittier and more fun. I can’t even count all the ways or reasons that I adore you. I can’t figure out how or why someone like you would want to stick around and be with someone like me, but I’m so so glad you do. And as long as you stick around, I’ll do everything I can to convince you that this is for real. It may be quiet and reserved and nervous, but this is love. This is real. This is that thing that everyone spends a lifetime yearning for.

Know that. Remember that. We’re bound to have some rough days ahead, but we can get through them because we only make each other better.

You’re my favorite human being and probably the best thing that ever has or ever will happen to me. I could fill novel after novel trying to explain how extraordinary you are, and it still wouldn’t ever be enough. I love you more, even if I don’t always say so.


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