Still No Easier

How do I make it hurt less when I wake up reaching for you? You do know my dreams are just a string of sick jokes now, right?
Where you come back, ask to try again, hold me tighter than I ever knew was possible…

I don’t get enough sleep as it is. But good God, I don’t want to keep doing this. I don’t want to wake up anymore.
… in I’d rather go on pretending it’s not over.
… in, it’s easier to feel that way cloaked in unconsciousness.

You are the one person I’ve allowed to completely wreck me. You do know that, right? It’s been months and I still wake up crying, that’s not the me that anyone else knows.
The me whose smiles are too fake to take photos anymore.

I want the world to spin in your favor, and I want the stars to align, and I want to be the one you need bad enough to turn around and try again.
Not a second ever passed that I wasn’t wanting all the best for you.


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