Since you wouldn’t let me wish you happy holidays

Wanna know something ridiculous? I’d already started saving for your Christmas gifts back when things were still okay between us. Back in August, September – back when I never thought you wouldn’t be a part of my December.

I wanted to roadtrip together, and I kept a shitty job so I’d have the money for us to go. I was gonna get you to that Hawks game, and we would share a New Year’s kiss in Chicago.

I absolutely adored you. I was gonna put my needs aside for that because that’s just the kind of thing that I do. Then you left and left me reeling. With tired eyes, I emptied that Chicago fund and bought my mom a new set of earrings. I wasn’t about to take our adventure with somebody else. And God knows I’m not cut out to take on Chi-town by myself.

But yeah, this is me…who you decided to pass on. This is me…the girl who loved your flaws and accepted your wrongs. Wherever you are for Christmas and again on New Year’s Eve, there’s no way that life alone could treat you sweeter than life with me.


5 thoughts on “Since you wouldn’t let me wish you happy holidays

  1. This is so rough. I can totally relate though, because I’m going through the same thing. We met each other in December and didn’t make it to the next one. We had so many plans together, but she just threw everything away even after I was there for her through some of the hardest times of her life.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going that. I really hate to think that there are more people hurting the way I do. But at the time, that’s exactly what’s keeping me going. Loss like that is never easy, but adding all this pressure to be happy around the holidays is proving to be pretty damn exhausting.

      1. Just remember that a new year is about to start and you can start all over. You can take all that energy and time you were spending on someone that wasn’t worth it and put it all into you! That’s something to look forward to. :)

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