Should We Part, May I Just Say….

Our story has no place ending this way. We’re not rogues and savages, not villains and barbarians. We’re two sort-of-grown-ups who, believe it or not, both deserve some semblance of closure. I’m dying to hear what flipped the switch in your brain from always to no more. And surely you’re curious as to why I insist that we keep in touch immediately and not just at some point down the line. 

I never saw an end in sight, but had I tried to imagine one, this never would have been it. This is exactly what I swore I’d never do to you. I promised I wouldn’t drag things out and let questions chew on your sanity, but that’s exactly how you’re letting it all unfold. You’re vague and clipped. It’s not a matter of mystery anymore, just torment. Tell me how you feel. Tell me why you’re scared. Tell me if you’re lost so I can start up some kind of search and rescue.

There are people out there who are used to this. People who get caught in new endings every other weekend. It’s a common thing, I suppose. But we aren’t common, and this isn’t our fate.

Our connection is the rarest thing I’ve known. You’re everything I ever asked for, everything I never knew I needed, and everything I could ever want. I could finally breathe easy when I was yours. Everything began to fall into place and my entire life started to make sense. I knew from our first moment that I would never find anything like this again. No one would be made for me quite the way that you are.

And now you sit with your back turned. You can’t even turn to watch me fall apart. My understanding and eventual peace of mind isn’t worth your aching right now.

I wish I could tell you that it’s fine. If only I could turn to you and say, “I can find some way to make it through alone – that’s what I’m used to, after all – just go on with your life.” But I can’t. We’re so much better than this. We’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. So I can’t let us end this way. If you’re going to walk away, I know I can’t stop you, but we owe each other more than silence. We’re not like the others. We might be mad, might be crazy, but we’re absolutely nothing ordinary.

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