Stars and Fireworks

I don’t think I can remember ever feeling this happy. I certainly can’t recall ever being this happy and having it reflected back at me. You have put countless smiles on my face since we said hello, and I can’t thank you enough for every one of them. You’re kind and patient and honest. You don’t subscribe to mind games. You’re always looking out for me, cheering me on, and believing in me. You are an astounding human being, and I know for a fact that I don’t deserve anyone as remarkable as you.

I am far from an open book. It takes a lot of time and effort and finagling to get through to me. That’s why it scares me that my guard is quickly becoming transparent around you. There’s still a part of me that’s certain you’re going dig something up and decide I’m not who you thought I was. I know you say you won’t, but just understand that I’ve heard that before. I do trust you. I just don’t know if I trust me.

In time, you’ll learn my past. You’ll learn about the dreams and goals I used to chase. You’ll learn about the things that knocked the wind out of me and then the things that helped me get back up. You’ll learn about the friends I’ve made along the way. You’ll learn about the boys who were here before you. You’ll learn about my prayers and the struggles with my faith. You’ll learn about my strange habits and odd hopes. I just ask that you promise to always hear me out when I tell you something new. Let me explain myself before you ever decide to abandon ship.

I can’t wait for you to meet my friends and family. I’m incredibly excited to see you weave your way into my life. I do think you’re going to find that it’s a very good fit. And everyone’s already quite fond of you because they’ve seen how happy you make me. They are backing this up 110%.

I haven’t felt this many good vibes about anything in years. You have no idea how grateful I am that our paths managed to cross and that the timing worked in my favor for once.¬†Everything has happened so fast. For two people to become so attuned to one another in such a brief time is surely something to behold. It’s a little crazy. I catch myself thinking about you sometimes and the thoughts feel ages old. This can only be a sign of good things to come. And I know you’re afraid that I’m going to feel rushed, but don’t be. I believe in keeping with whatever pace is most natural. Please, try not to worry too much. I’ll speak up if something feels wrong, but I only want you to be yourself and feel comfortable that way.

This is a good thing. Crazy good. I’m elated to have come to this point with you, and thrilled to see where we go from here. I want the stars and the fireworks and roadtrips. But I look forward to the lazy times just as much as the adventurous ones. You are really something special. I can only hope to make you believe it.

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