That Thought

It’s that thought
– that this feels far too important to ignore thought –
that leaves me paralyzed all hours of the day.
It’s the constant butterflies,
but also the endless fear of screwing it all up,
of saying the wrong thing.
It’s suddenly wanting to be a better person
because I know he deserves better than me,
but I still desperately hope to be enough.
It’s the electricity of that first encounter
playing over again like lightning on repeat.
It’s the potential glowing like a fire
after just the second date.
It’s that thought
– that so this is why it never worked before thought –
that keeps me up all hours of the night,
wondering if I’m keeping him up too.

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