You never used to be there, glued to the front of my mind like a most wanted sign. There weren’t weekends that I wished away or early mornings that I looked forward to. This is the first time I’ve ever felt so eager to be around another human being. And you know, I don’t think there’s a word for the way you’ve been making me feel.
It’s more than a crush, more than lust, more than admiration.
I catch myself wondering what you’re doing while I’m walking to class in the snow. I try to guess when you might be up practicing on your guitar. I spend a little more time than I care to admit trying to think of things to say to you the next time we meet.
My heart never rests now. Before, I could float mindlessly from one day to the next without so much as a glance into each tomorrow. Now I spend entire afternoons daydreaming about our mornings together and dissecting our conversations. I try time and time again to recreate the smell of your cologne in my imagination. I laugh quietly in the backs of classrooms as I recall your terrible jokes. I’m giddy just thinking of you, and I’ve never been so happily anxious about somebody before. There is so much I want to tell you, but my words just continue to escape me.
But when I see you again in the morning, we’ll find something to laugh about. We’ll find more common ground, and we’ll manufacture even more smiles than the last time. Perhaps something you say will strike some bravery within me, and I can tell you just how happy I am to know you. Maybe I can even tell you how badly I want to know more. After all, you’re the kindest person I know. How easy it would be to fall in love with you.