If you hurt her

I won’t chase you out the front door, screaming. I won’t make a scene in front of all the neighbors as you scramble into your car and drive away. I’m not going to be loud and spitfire in that way; you may not even see me the last time you go. But you will have to deal with me.

See, I’ve been watching you from the moment you first sauntered into our living room in clothes far too nice for movie night. I expressed my concerns the next morning at 4 a.m. only minutes after you decided to kiss her goodnight. If you hadn’t guessed it, I’m her confidante. I know everything about you, while I’m not certain that you even remember my name.

I’m the one holding her up when you tip everything too far out of balance. I’m the one she calls when it’s 2:30 a.m. and she’s headed across town to drive your drunk ass home. I am the person who stays awake with her night after night with my metaphorical shoulders and watered-down advice because you think you have the upper hand. 

She wants more than you can give her, though I think you know that. But you’re attracted to her anyway because she’s a nurturer. She’s the sort of person who likes to fix things, to make them whole again. And you, well you’re all kinds of shattered. That’s probably why you clicked so quickly – she went straight to work re-assembling you from the inside out. But as she gently works to realign each sharp edge, she learns a little more about you. And every little detail is piling up and she just might fall for you.

But again, you can’t give her what she wants. You won’t open up to her at all, not even a little bit. You won’t call her by name, just generics like “doll” and “babe.” You won’t even come over in the daylight. Yet you call her needy even though her requests are simple.

And now you’re ripping at the seams of her sanity. You’re right on the edge of the best and the worst, and she won’t hesitate too much to say that. She can tell you that she wants something clear cut. She wants to know what she’s in for. But when you refuse, when you say “I’m just not good for you,” it ruins her resolve. She ends up right back to that drive she has to ease your pain, so your selfish cycle resumes. I don’t have that problem.

If you hurt her, I will be sure you don’t forget it. You’ll be made to always wonder. You will be sliced and diced and made an example of for everyone we care about. I will turn you into the bad guy regardless of your intentions. I will be an echo reminding you of how easy it could have been to keep her. I will write you into each of my villains and punish you a hundred different ways so that when the next girl comes along, she’ll already see the signs.

If you hurt her, I’ll be the one to clean up your mess. I will be the one making promises of better next times. I’ll be the one who refrains from the “I told you so” and instead offers a quiet “he doesn’t deserve you.” I’ll be here for her no matter what you choose to do, so if you hurt her, I’m what you’re up against.

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