Hell Sometimes

I think it’s beautiful when you find something new to believe in. It’s breathtaking to watch you fall in love with a new idea. You’re always finding, so I imagine you’re also always searching. No tomorrow is ever going to be the same, and you love it. It’s hell sometimes, but you love it.

I know direction seems binding. A narrow path is death to you; if you can’t take on the entire ocean, you’re already drowning. I sometimes wonder where your focus lies when you’ve always got your hands into something new. But then I listen as your excitement and passion bleed into your stories and light fires in your eyes. It’s every bit as incredible as watching a baby discover his feet for the first time. And every bit as naive. That doesn’t matter though, not right now. You love life. It’s hell sometimes, but you love it.

I think it’s tragic to know that your heart and mind are open at such different angles. It’s confusing to navigate, and a lot of people are going to get caught in the gap because it’s too sharp a turn to make. Your heart was glowing and astonishing and open, but your mind just wasn’t quite ready for me. Now we don’t really know where we stand, but it’s funny and we can laugh and I love it. It’s hell sometimes, but I love it.

I could guess a thousand times what you think of your past, but I’d never get it right. No one will ever know every buried regret or abandoned dream. I can never quite tell which fires burned you and which kept you warm. I don’t even know which I was. Your future is staring you in the face every single day, looming and uncertain, and it wears you down. It wears me down too.  But if there’s one thing I feel certain about, it’s that you’re going to take every storm and come out of it throwing ideas like thunder and drowning out demons and doubts. Days that knock you down won’t keep you down. Never lose your passion; it’s too beautiful to throw away. It’s hell sometimes, but it’s beautiful. And I love it like I love you.

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2 thoughts on “Hell Sometimes

  1. Reblogged this on joesorandom and commented:
    Le sigh… Someone that “gets it”… There should be more females out there that can understand guys like the one she talks about in this piece. we arent that hard to figure out really.. Just a little extra effort needed..

    1. Thanks for the reblog and for reading so many of my posts! As far as this piece, I certainly don’t feel like I have anyone figured out, but trying to understand is the key to a lot of things.

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