Twenty years, twenty realizations

I’ve officially survived two decades on this planet, and oh, the stories I could tell. As reserved as I am, I’ve had my share of crazy and reckless. Sometimes reckless acts, and more often reckless thinking. Twenty years of thoughts could string together to reach the moon and back any number of times, but I wanted to share just a few things that I’ve come to realize, understand, and accept in my life so far.

  • It’s okay to take a time out to figure out your beliefs because religion is some messy stuff. And no, you aren’t “damned to Hell” just because someone disagrees with you.
  • Your demons may thrive in the darkness, but they can surface in the daylight, too. And they aren’t afraid to bite you in the ass right there in front of everyone.
  • There’s nothing wrong with being picky when choosing friends and significant others. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior for it.
  • Sometimes life takes a shit on you and there is absolutely nothing you could have done to avoid it. Not everything that goes wrong is your fault.
  • Have the courage to admit it when you’re unhappy. Be brave enough to do something about it.
  • No one cares where you come from.
  • The best thing you can be is open-minded, but also be opinionated.
  • Don’t let anyone define love for you. If you’re in love, it’s not anyone’s place to tell you otherwise. Also, if you love someone, tell him. For goodness sake, tell him.
  • Everything is a choice. You may not be doing the choosing, but everything is a choice.
  • Running away from things typically isn’t the way to go, but always be prepared to run should you need to. And learn to pack light.
  • Politics are a sort of necessary poison.
  • Oftentimes divorce really is the best and healthiest choice – don’t be so ashamed of it. You tried, and it didn’t work. That’s okay.
  • Don’t be afraid to feel. Feel deeply and honestly and embrace the vulnerability that makes you so marvelously human.
  • A role model shouldn’t be a perfect person. Not even a near-perfect person. Look up to the people who will admit that they’ve fallen down. Model yourself after the honest, the resilient, and the humble.
  • You can say “no regrets” all you want to, but you will have them.
  • Sex doesn’t have to be linked to religion or morals or right and wrong. Link it to love if you want to. Link it to health. Link it to pleasure. Or just let it be. Sex can just be sex.
  • You aren’t always going to win, but you’d sure as hell better play to win.
  • It takes a certain situation to figure out exactly where you stand on a certain issue. You may have opinions now, but they can change under pressure.
  • Knowing what you want is overrated. Really. Uncertainty isn’t comfortable, but it’s a real thrill when you learn to embrace it and go out in search for passion.
  • You’ll never make it through twenty years without laughter. The more you can laugh at, the happier you can be. Laugh when it hurts, laugh until it hurts; either way, never stop laughing.

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