Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “Wow, you could really be attractive,” but there’s a big emphasis on could? Yeah, that used to cross my mind a lot, and people thought it was weird. I’m still not sure why though. It’s not like attractiveness is a yes or no thing. If it was, then People magazine couldn’t choose the Sexiest Man Alive because all the sexy men would just be sexy on the same level. Thankfully it doesn’t work that way though; it’s more of a spectrum. Attractive traits pile up, and once you have enough of them, you can be considered attractive overall.
I realize all of this may sound really strange. Maybe even kind of awful to some. But at the same time, it’s a real thing and I know I can’t be the only who’s thought about it.
It can be a beautiful person with a terrible personality or a beautiful mind and soul in a body that maybe doesn’t strike you as anything special. It can be a combination, or even something totally different. Attractiveness can stem from anywhere; it’s like how they say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Job and home skills, maternal or paternal instincts, taste in music or cars, and even the people who a person surrounds himself with can influence how attractive he is to someone. The list can go on and on. It’s different for each person.
What often happens is that we meet someone and notice several good points about them, and they get right up to this imaginary line. It’s a flexible line, and different people have different requirements to get to it, but it has to be reached to be considered attractive. But a lot of times, we get right up to the line and run out of attractive things. So they just hover there. That’s where this feeling comes from of, whoa, so much potential, but something’s missing.
I’m not saying that we have a checklist we go through to determine this. It’s not like that. But I do think everyone kind of does this, usually without even thinking about it. I didn’t even realize I did it until somewhat recently, but since then, things have started making more sense. It’s showed me what I usually go for and what I won’t settle for. It proved that I definitely have a type.
I find a lot of attractive qualities in people’s minds and emotions. For example: sense of humor and witty comebacks, sympathetic traits, ability to laugh at himself, and extravagant dreams and plans to chase them. Then, of course, I like it when I find someone with some similar tastes to my own. Someone who enjoys country music, loves animals, and is willing to live anywhere south of here. As far as physical traits, they’re meaning less and less to me as I get older, but I’ve somehow kept to pretty much the same type ever since I started dating: tall, blond-ish, and often uncoordinated. A couple of other random things that will earn you attractiveness points in my book are: a big (and welcoming) family, good grilling skills, supportive friends, and a love of the beach.
So yeah, it’s not really that complicated at all. And it also explains how we can fall for someone really fast because he reveals a lot of good qualities right away, but we can also fall after a lot of time as we learn more about a person. Attractiveness is a spectrum. Some people, though, are going to fall just a step shy of your barrier, even if they’re at the top of someone else’s list. It happens. Some people have it happening for them, and others just seem to have a lot of potential.