Lose My Mind

In a jumble of “whys,” I once lost my mind.

It wandered off in search of answers, leaving my heart and body to their own defenses.

Just imagine it: doing what you love just because you love it.

Freedom from yourself.

My heart, in this glorious moment of freedom, took one hell of a leap.

My body followed, and everything changed.

Well, actually, very little changed.

When I say everything, I only mean the emotions brewing inside me, tearing to be free again.

They are what changed.

Ever since the wondrous free fall, I’ve craved more.

More risk, more passion, more freedom.

My body wants what it wants and my heart is on board as well.

My mind, back from its search, is the only holdout.

Damn the logic, reasoning, and rationality bringing me down.

Damn it all.

There aren’t any rules in my heart.

That’s why I so enjoyed living there without sharing its space with worry.

It was so beautiful.

And my body proved its worth in new ways.

That, too, was beautiful.

Beautiful heart, beautiful body…

They say I have a beautiful mind, and I used to accept that as a compliment.

Not anymore.

My mind is exactly what drains the beauty from the rest of me.

My mind becomes the enemy, the darkness.

I’m its sole prisoner, and I haven’t much hope tonight.

But perhaps if I ask enough questions, I can lose it once more.

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