Beats For You

 If you’re not going to take a chance and explore our potential, then tell me why you’ve got me hanging around. How come you don’t want me, but you can’t let me go?

Why? Why can’t I be strong in myself and just get up and walk away? I know I’m strong enough, I know I should do it. But I can’t and here’s why: my aching, torn heart still beats…for you.

You’ve got me, easily. Every laugh and smile draws me closer and every harsh word hurts me more, but it’s just another scar. Another reminder that you were real. And that once…you did love me.

That is why I can’t let go. I’m not holding onto you anymore, I’m clinging to the past. I can’t focus my attention forward, so I look back. At you.

I know this is what’s happening, but I still can’t look away. I know it’s an illusion, different as night and day, but it’s my shattered dream. And I’m just a lost dreamer.

So I ask, why? Why can’t I be stronger and just stand up and face you? I know I need to, I know it’s my last option, I know I should do it. Now.

But I can’t and here’s why: my aching, torn heart still beats…for you.

I wrote this about four years ago at the age of 15, and found it today when I was clearing out files on our old desktop. I’m still a little shocked at my younger self. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s