Where are you? I’ve been wondering what happened, what sent you – or perhaps what dragged you – away from this, away from me. I have an idea, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. That’s gotten me in trouble plenty of times before. Old habits die hard, I suppose.
I miss you though. I thought I finally had a way to ease that, to sort of bridge the gap between us, but it seems I jinxed it because you’re gone as fast as you appeared this time. Now I’m sitting here wondering by myself, what do I do now? How much longer do I hold on? And how much further I can push you to see that this isn’t how it should be?
My heart aches for you because I know, deep in your own heart, you never meant for things to get this way. It wasn’t your idea. It wasn’t what you signed on for. But it happened anyway and you don’t do much to stop it. Sacrifice, maybe, but it’s costing you more than you realize. Do you ever stop to wonder if you’re missing out on more than you’re gaining in this charade? Have you ever once asked yourself if it’s worth it? Have you drawn a line, any line at all?
Something tells me that you haven’t. Maybe you think that’s how things should be, but someday you’ll realize that’s not how it works. You probably can’t even tell the toll it’s already taken on you. You’re wearing blinders. You used to peel them off for me sometimes, but not so much anymore. All I can do now is hope you’ll grow out of them soon. Then you’ll look around and see how much has changed right around you.
Once you were scared of missing out on things. Well, that’s a legitimate fear for you now. I may be missing you, but you’re missing all the rest.